be present in another's life


What does it mean to be an ally, to be a friend? Well, be present in someone else's life.

When you're present in someone else's life, you're there for them whenever they need a shoulder to cry on, whenever they need support like we see on the card. You're present for them whenever they're talking to you; you're present, in that moment and you're listening and offering them support. You're listening but not always advising. Listening and lending an ear to them.

What can we see on the card?

The first thing I see are the two figures on the card, which look like ants to me. There's a real tenderness between them; there's a sadness but there's a tenderness. And the feeling I get from this is that they're leaving, they're parting company. However, for the moment that they are together, for the moment that they can be in each other's presence, they can be there for each other, they're there as friends and supporters of each other. Their eyes are locked; they're present in the current moment, in the here and now, spending what little time they have together before they part.

And that's where the sadness comes in, because they are parting. When friends are together and they have to part, there is natural sadness but there is also hope that you see that friend again in the future.

They are two ants. What do we know about ants?

Ants are incredibly strong. They are really tiny but they are incredibly strong and they come together and work as a team. If you watch an ant lifting a leaf, rarely does the ant try to lift the leaf by himself. He's got all his mates coming to help him and they all work together in unison, together as a team and with that they bring great strength.

That's saying that whenever your friend, even if it's just with one other friend, you can bring great strength to that partnership whenever you work together, whenever you support each other.

And that's what the card is inviting us to do: be a friend. Be an ally to those who need you. They may already be friends and you can support them, guide them, cheer them on. However, they may be strangers to you. If you see someone in need, you can be an ally to a stranger, you can support a stranger in need. It's not just about supporting friends, it's about being present and supporting strangers in need also.

And in that way, with so much green on this card, it brings so much healing. When you're present, when you're supportive, when you're there for somebody, whether you know them or not, when you lend a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, you're helping that person to heal. When you're there for that person, to celebrate the good times with them, you are helping that person to heal.

There's so much green on this card because friendship and being an ally brings great healing, and it brings change also.

If you look around the two ants, the plants on the left look like flames licking away at them. And on the right, the plants are insect-catching plants. It feels like, in their surroundings, it's as if there is danger. However, they are together and they're standing strong together. That's telling us that wherever in the world, (whether it's in our community, in another country, on the other side of the world to us) where there is danger, we are being invited to come together, to support each other, to provide the shoulder, to provide the listening ear, to buoy each other up and support each other. Be there, in the present moment, in the here and now, and lend your support whenever other people are in danger, or in trouble; danger that they can't control, danger that they haven't inflicted on themselves purposely, danger that's beyond the control of others - let them know, "I'm here for you, I'm supporting you".

In the background we have this mechanism - I don't know what it is; it's like some carriage that can fly. And I feel that this mechanism is what the male ant is going towards. For some reason, they're going to have to part company temporarily. He's going to have to disappear. And the phrase I'm getting is "absence makes the heart grow stronger".

When you are present for someone, when you show your support and you have this unity together with a friend or romantic partner or your community, whatever it may be, when one of you has to leave for a time, you're not forgotten, you will always be remembered in the other person's heart because they know and have that connection with you, they have that special bond with you. And it means that while you may be separated for a time, you will come together.

Sometimes whenever we're surrounded by danger, sometimes whenever situations get tough and they're pushing us to the edge, sometimes we may temporarily lose touch with someone; that person may need to go away perhaps to bring help, perhaps to bring support, perhaps to bring an answer to the danger, or perhaps to find a new place to go to away from the danger and come back to get you to go away. While that person is looking for that place or finding the answer or solution to the problem or situation, keep them close in your heart; remember them, keep that bond strong. You may not see them, you may not be able to touch them, but in your heart you will be able to feel them.

So create allies all around you, create friendships all around you, create your support system. And while they support you, you also support them. When the time comes when, maybe, you are parted for a while, be in that present moment for as long as it may last to renew your friendship, to renew your bond and be there as support for each so that whenever they come back, the bond is still there, the connection is still there. If anything, it may even be stronger.

Be present in another's life. Don't just offer support, offer the listening ear, offer the shoulder to cry on, and then turn off. Be 100% present for that other person. Be present as you would like them to be present for you. It feels very much like mirror image here. Offer someone what you wish they would offer you. Offer it first so they can return it back to you. So that you can build a network of friends and allies and supporters who will help you through difficult times, who will support you through dangerous times, who will be there for you. And, for whom, you can be there too.

Reference: This beautiful card is from Secret Woods Oracle Deck by Kelly Patton

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