with help from my guardian angel


Hey lovely soul...

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Every 10 weeks I attend hospital to receive medication which keeps my Crohns/Colitis in check. It's usually a full-day affair as it takes close to 2 hours to travel to the hospital, I spend around 3 hours in the hospital receiving my infusion, and then a final 2 hours travelling home. Even though I'm always looking for ways to heal myself naturally, my 10-weekly infusion is something I've come to accept in my life as it enables me to live my life, enjoy hiking, and, quite simply, stay alive.

And, during my various visits to the hospital, I've been blessed with some very special angelic experiences which I have written about in the past from angels standing round my bed to feeling that I was levitating.

Recently, however, my hospital visit was for a bit more than my normal infusion. Before my infusion, I was set to have a colonoscopy so my consultant could check my colon to see how healthy it was. So my visit to the hospital would be longer than normal and would involve a general anaesthetic so I would sleep through the colonoscopy.

After an early rise I started my journey to the hospital, arriving in good time. I was feeling positive about the colonoscopy as I'd noticed during my previous weekend's hike that I was feeling really healthy 'on the inside' and had also had a very successful cleanout the previous day. Everything felt like it was pointed towards a successful result and I was feeling very calm.

When I heard that the appointments were running a little late, I sat in the waiting room and quietly meditated until my name was called and I moved into the Prep room where I'd get dressed (or more, undressed) in readiness for the colonoscopy and have the needle inserted into my arm for the general anaesthetic.

However, a small challenge arose. After the prior day's cleanout and not being able to drink water for a few hours, my body was dehydrated. With no food in my body for over 24 hours, I was also cold. These two conditions can make it challenging to insert an needle into your vein.

Place on top of that (my) veins that are scared and run away when they sense the presence of a needle... and well, it wasn't long till I was feeling a bit like a pin cushion.

Finally, on the third attempt, the third nurse who tried, was successful. Unfortunately the only vein she could find was on the palm-side of my wrist, a rather painful point of entry and uncomfortable place for a needle. Plus the vein was on the small side which meant taking bloods was a challenge. But we got there and before too long I was being wheeled down for my colonoscopy.

In the blink of an eye I was asleep. And in another blink of an eye the procedure was over and I was awake.

After a few minutes recovering, I got dressed and moved to the day ward for my normal infusion, where I would sleep off the rest of the anaesthetic.

From then on, it was like a normal visit to the hospital, only this time I didn't have any angelic experiences... not yet, anyway.

As I was receiving my normal infusion after the colonoscopy, I was given permission to travel home on my own (by train). Usually after an anaesthetic, a loved one has to pick you up. But as I would be spending several more hours in the hospital, I was told that I could safely travel home alone.

So, after my infusion was over, I made my way to the bus which would take me to the train station so I could catch the first of my 3 trains home. I arrived at the station 25 minutes early. Still feeling a bit sleepy, I stood on the cold platform waiting for the train to arrive. However, after 15 minutes there was an announcement that the train would be 15 minutes late... then 20 minutes late... then 25 minutes late. Which would mean I'd miss my next connection. Which would mean I'd arrive home even later.

The train arrived and I boarded with everyone else and found a seat.

As the train made its way to my next changeover point, I dosed on and off.

When I arrived at my next station, I had just missed my planned connection and would have to wait 20 minutes for the next. All the time it was getting later, I was getting colder and feeling more tired.

I got a call from my husband asking if I needed picked up from the following station as it was close to his work and he was leaving shortly. Being the (attempting-to-recover) people pleaser that I am, I didn't want to have him hanging around the next station, waiting to pick me up so I told him to head on home. However, after I got on the train I realised that I'd arrive at the next station faster than I had expected and would, as a result, be hanging around the third and final station for 15 minutes until my next train left. In that time, had I asked my husband to pick me up, we could have almost been home.

Should I call my husband back and ask him to pick me up? I didn't know what to do so I left it, assuming he would have left work already.

And so I headed towards the next station and the final train.

By this stage it was getting really cold, I was exhausted and torrential rain had started to fall.

I made my way to the final train and as I sat there I decided I'd had enough. I should've accepted the offer from my husband to pick me up. I shouldn't have been such an independent people-pleaser. Although it was too late now to call him, I decided I needed to try something as the final part of my journey, the uphill walk from the final station to our home was now looking, through my exhausted eyes, like a climb up Everest.

So I spoke to my guardian angel and asked for her help.

We live a 6 minute uphill walk from the last station I was headed towards. So, in all honesty, it really didn't make a lot of sense to call my husband and ask him to pick me up, to get him to go back out into the cold and rain. However, I was feeling so exhausted and cold that I knew a pickup would feel like a godsend.

But, again, I didn't have it in me to 'put him out'. Rather than learn from my regret of not accepting his first offer to pick me up, I couldn't bring myself to call him and ask him to pick me up and save me from a 6 minute uphill walk in torrential rain.

But I really wanted that pick up.

So... I asked my guardian angel if she would connect with my husband's guardian angel and possibly give him a nudge to come pick me up.

Guardian angels, like any angels, cannot tell someone what they should or should not do. They cannot impinge on a person's right to free will and making their own decisions and choices. However they can give them nudges and suggestions. It's then up to the person to hear, listen and be willing follow those suggestions or to choose to ignore them.

As the train trundled along, getting ever closer to my final station, I was getting myself prepared for my walk home in the rain.

And then my phone rang.

It was my husband.

All he said was "This rain is really heavy. I'm coming to the station to pick you up. I'll be there in a minute."

I can't tell you the relief that ran through my body.

I can't tell you how grateful I was to receive that phonecall.

I can't tell you how thankful I was that my guardian angel and my husband's guardian angel had set all this in motion.

I can't tell you how happy I was that my husband had heard and listened to his guardian angel, and acted.

I was exhausted, I was cold but I would be saved from a walk that would feel like a mountain climb, arriving home sodden wet. After what had proved to be a longer than expected day, a physically more tiring and more difficult than expected day, I would soon be warm and dry at home.

I talk to the angels every day. They play a very large role in my daily life and I turn to them for guidance and support all the time. However, I haven't been so good at turning to my guardian angel.

We each have a guardian angel who has always and will always be with us. They are by our side each and every second of each and every day and know us better than we know ourselves because they see who we truly are, no mask, no front, no barriers.

Our guardian angel wants to be our best friend, to talk to us every day, to support us, guide us and help us when we ask them to. But we need to ask them. We need to include them in our lives. We need to talk to them.

And that is something I've now learned. It's only taken a simple lesson for me to open my eyes and realise that my guardian angel will help, support and guide me... I just need to talk to her and ask her. Let my lesson be your lesson too. Talk to your guardian angel every day. Involve them in your daily lives. Because when you do, you'll thrive in the knowledge that you are never alone.

As I come to the end of this blogpost, I've had an thought pop into my head and I know it's something from my guardian angel that I'm being asked to share with you here.

And the thought is this: Was it really my idea to ask my guardian angel to contact my husband's guardian angel and nudge him to pick me up at the final station? Or were my ears finally opened to receiving support from my own guardian angel? Was it really my idea or did she nudge me towards the idea and I picked up on it? I don't think there's any denying that finally, when I was exhausted, cold and just wanted to reach home, in my exhausted state I heard my guardian angel's suggestion and acted on it. I am so thankful that I did and so grateful that she planted the thought in my head.

With love and angel sparkles, Viv xx