I'd been reading my own angel cards, for myself, for quite a while before I mentioned it to a mentor (and friend), whom I trusted. Immediately her support and enthusiasm shone through as she encouraged me to branch out and offer readings to friends, for practise, and then to clients.
She confided in me that ever since our paths had crossed, she felt I should be working more in a spiritual, and even healing, capacity. But until now she hadn't felt comfortable sharing that with me as she felt it more powerful to find my own path.
As soon as she had said this, all the self-doubt, all the insecurities, my low self-esteem and low self-confidence immediately came bubbling up to the surface like buoys popping up on the surface of the sea after being held down and restrained. And although all these emotions that were rising inside of me were just like buoys, in that they are designed to keep me safe and not leave my secure comfort zone, they were also keeping me small and not permitting me to venture beyond the safety of the swim area so I could test my swimming capabilities and strength.
To move from reading angel cards for myself to reading for friends and then paying clients. That was quite a leap for me.
Not only would it be a leap of faith that I could actually do it, but it would be a leap of faith that I wouldn't screw up anyone's life up with the messages I passsed on to them, messages I may mis-interpret. Because, after all, I wasn't exactly always spot on when I read angel cards for myself. You just have to read my blogpost "Meditate, just meditate!" to see how my mind and resistance came into play there.
But with a bit of gentle persuasion from my mentor and friend, her own offer to act as a volunteer, and help to encourage a few others, I took the leap. And I gave my first readings to friends.
At first, naturally, I felt awkward and my conscious mind was butting in and questionning everything I saw in the cards. However, before long the angels decided to step in and take over control of my doubting and questionning mind that was desperately trying to keep me safe and stop me growing and expanding.
As a result of the angels stepping in to take control, while I was reading for a friend, I suddenly felt a wave of goosebumps and tingles traveling all down my body. I didn't have to think too hard or for too long to understand what this sensation represented. I already knew that I feel the angels when they're close by through a similar sensation of tingles, so when I felt tingles and goosebumps run down my whole body in waves, I instantly knew that the angels were reassuring me that I was on the right track with the messages I was passing to my friend.
It was exactly the message and reassurance I needed to receive at that time as it instantly made me feel at ease and gave me the confidence to continue to practise and develop my skills with more friends, before moving onto paying clients.
Today when I pass on angel messages to clients, I don't always get the sensation of waves of tingles and goosebumps running throughout my body. They do come but they're not as frequent as they used to be when I first started.
Does that mean I've lost my mojo? Does that mean the messages I pass on now aren't as compelling as they were at the start?
Believe me, that idea ran through my head too the first time I gave a full angel card reading without feeling a single goosebump.
But here's the thing. I've been practising, not only with friends but I've also been working with clients. And my angel card reading skills by this stage are pretty darn good - you just have to read the wave of beautiful testimonials I've been receiving.
So it's not like I've suddenly lost my mojo. It's simply because I've grown and expanded and have confidence in the messages I pass onto my clients. I no longer need the constant reassurance from the angels because I now have faith and belief in my own skills.
It doesn't mean that I no longer get the goodebumps or waves of tingles during an angel card reading. It just means that when I do, I now pay heed and close attention to them because it means that the particular message I'm delivering is really important for my client to hear, listen to and, at times, act on.
Just like what I described when I first felt the angels' presence through tingles on my shoulder blade, tingles which, in the beginning, were ever present but as I grew and felt confident that the angels are always with me, their presence became less frequent. So it is with the goosebumps and waves of tingles I feel during readings. Because I've grown in skill and confidence, the angels don't need to keep reassuring me during my readings. Now I feel goosebumps and waves of tingles when the angels really want me (and my client) to sit up and take heed.
With love and angel sparkles, Viv xx