My husband thinks I'm strange because I'm not very good at embracing change. Change that isn't thrust upon me or that I don't choose for myself, well, I kind of resist and avoid it for as long as possible.
Take the first online course I created.
I knew it was something I wanted to do. I knew it was something I felt was important for me to do. I knew it would be something that could help so many wonderful souls shine their light brighter in the world. And yet I resisted it... for almost a year! I simply could not get myself to sit down in front of the camera and record. I guess my little toe was scared that it might catch frostbite when it was thrust outside my comfort zone.
Eventually, of course, I dragged my whole body and being out of my comfort zone and I took the plunge. And, as I have discovered time and time again, it really wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. In fact, much to my surprise, this anti-social introvert rather enjoyed it... which shows as I'm currently editing the videos for courses 10 and 11.
It's not easy, at times, to thrust yourself forward and do something new, bring about change. However, from all my experience, when we feel the need to change it's often not as painful or difficult as the stories we create for it. It's usually for our best and to help us transform into an even better version of ourselves.
That's change that we can initiate.
What about change that's thrust upon us unexpectedly?
This weekend someone I believed to be important in my life, a friend for many years, got married.
And I found out about it on Facebook...
And when I did, I felt hurt, I felt betrayed, I felt unloved... and I cried.
He was one of a group of us who met at uni and became, I believed, life-long friends. All of us being away from home at a relatively young age. Well, it felt that the bonds we had created were forged in stone.
Sure, after uni we all moved to different places and didn’t see each other often. However, we did have occasional reunions (which were easier, of course, when we were younger with no babies or bunnies to care for). And each time we met up, even if it was after 10 years, we easily and seamlessly picked up from where we had left as if we’d just seen each other yesterday.
So, to not be invited or to even know in advance about the marriage of someone I felt I had forged a lifelong bond with… that stung.
He had changed. He had moved on. And I was taken aback because I hadn’t seen it coming.
When change is thrust upon me, I don’t always deal with it in the best manner. However, I feel I’m getting better.
In the past if something similar had happened to me, I would cry, like I did this weekend. However, those tears would turn into bitterness, anger, resentment. And it would probably be the end of that friendship.
However, the more I work with the angels and the more I connect in with energy and understand the importance of living in a high vibration, the more I find myself acting differently in situations.
Sure, my initial reaction may be the same or similar. It’s super difficult to change our programming and our initial responses… that’ll come with even more work and time. However, my secondary reactions, the ones that come after things have percolated and marinated for a while, well I’m glad to say that is changing.
Rather than become bitter and twisted about not being invited or even knowing about my friend’s marriage, I could hear a more loving voice in my head say, “well, what can I do to celebrate for them?” Whilst my friend may no longer consider me to be one of his nearest and dearest, it doesn’t mean that I do or have to share the same feelings. I still care for him and I want to honour that.
And that makes me feel lighter and brighter than bitterness or hurt could ever make me feel. And for that I am grateful.
None of us is perfect. All of us have and experience feelings. And because of that we get to experience a whole plethora of feelings and emotions. However, we can change. We can re-programme ourselves to ensure that the feelings and emotions we get to experience, the majority of time, are those that are of a higher vibration.
It doesn’t mean to say we should deny ourselves lower emotions such as hurt or pain or anger. It’s important to permit all emotions to travel through our body so we can release them. What it does mean is that, we focus on releasing those natural negative emotions so we can replace them with something that is of a higher vibration. We don’t dwell on those negative emotions and we don’t allow them to develop and fester.
It's not something that can change overnight. Most of us have grown up in societies that are very much fear-based, where lower emotions trump higher ones. That’s programming that has been created and fed for years, if not decades.
However, with a little bit of conscious awareness, with a little bit of fortitude, you can turn things around, you can change from feeling low and hurt, to wishing to celebrate and keep that friendship which is still important to you.