i forgot to meditate

We headed on a furry family holiday (ie our beloved bunnies joined too) and within a couple of days I was ready to snap at anything and everything.

Totally not what going on holiday is about!

But as each day passed by I had this sense of anger building up inside of me. I was ready to snap at the smallest thing and, although I didn't verbalise it, my mind was picking holes in absolutely everything my husband said or did.

I was twisting everything and trying my very best to make myself into a proper victim in all that was happening.

Worst of all, I felt I was returning to the days when it felt like the world was my enemy and everything was caving in around me. Those were dark days I had promised myself I would never return to... and, yet, here I was wallowing in self-pity and trying to contain a thirst for anger that was building inside of me.

And I had no clue why or what was going on.

Because here we were, early summer in a ski area (ie very few people about). Everything was so peaceful, the nature was out of this world... beauty on all sides. The bunnies had settled in well and quickly. our apartment was lovely. And I was feeling like a miserable and grumpy old woman.

It just didn't fit.

But I knew I had to do something as I simply could not let this growing rage continue to build up inside of me... someone was going to get hurt (most likely me).

I racked my brain trying to work out why I was feleing this way but came up blank.

I rattled around trying to understand why every little thing just rubbed me up the wrong way but, again, came up blank.

Although I should have instantly recognised the signs I was so blocked I simply couldn't see the wood for the trees.

So I decided to confess my feelings to my husband. Tell him how angry I was feleing inside and how I didn't know...

... and as I saying all this out loud to him a quiet little voice in my head mentioned one little word: "meditate".

And all of a sudden all the pieces of the jigsaw fell instantly into place.

Since we'd left home a few days prior, I hadn't been meditating every morning like I usually would do nor was I listening to my meditations while I slept at night. It's the whole 'being on holiday' thing where you routine goes right out the window as being on holiday isn't (and shouldn't) be like every day normal life.

I just knew this was the reason and just knowing that seemed to lift the lid on the pressure I was feeling.

So that day I put a newly purchased Bornite (or Peacock Ore) 'crystal' (a mineral ore of happiness and joy that will help you tune into positive forces in life) in my pocket and while I slept that night I listened to my meditations.

The following morning my mood was definitely lighter and the negative, pick-holes-in-everything voice in my head had certainly quietened. But everything still hadn't quite returned to normal.

So I listened to a couple of my meditations that morning and then repeated the process from the day before (ie carried my Chalcopyrite crystal in my pocket and listened to my meditations while I slept). And by the following morning I knew my mood, my outlook, my overall being was back on track. I was feeling lighter, I found pleasure in life, I was smilng and laughing.

I have noticed the real, tangible effect that daily meditation has made in my life. And I have also noticed, on more than one occasion, that if I don't meditate for a couple of days my mood darkens and life seems a lot more challenging.

This time on holiday, with my routine flung out the window, it took me a while to twig that the cause of my mood swing was because I'd forgotten to meditate. But once I did realise that that was the cause, I was able to easily and quickly turn things back around, positively.

Meditation hasn't been something I have been doing for long. I think it's good to know that its positive effect doesn't take long to impact your life. And whilst I haven't always noticed just how much more positive I have felt as a result of daily meditation, I have certainly noticed how I take on a more negative, complaining and victim mindset when I don't meditate.

Viv xx