I dedicate quite a bit of my time to meditation and gratitude because I find if I don't, dark and negative thoughts can creep in and start to play a larger role in my life.
However, just because I set aside time and devote energy to keeping my vibe high, it doesn't mean I don't have a wobble every now and then.
And so was the case recently.
For any lovely soul who signs up to receive my weekly email, to any lovely soul who's considering becoming my client, I offer a few gifts so they can get a feel for who I am and how I work; so we can begin to create a connection.
One of those free gifts is a 1-time free 1-question remote reading; a short recorded reading (around 15mins in length) which is based around a question my client sends me in advance. It's a perfect introduction to me and how I read angel cards because the client doesn't have to make time in their calendar to show up live on video, they don't experience any feelings of fear or vulnerability that can arise when sitting in front of a complete stranger, waiting to receive messages of guidance which, who knows, could be embarrassing, hurtful, frightening or negative (all of which, I can assure you, does not happen when we're working with the beautiful and positive energies of the angels).
My free reading offer is the first step on our journey together; a journey along which my client will receive the most loving and supportive guidance.
So it's an important first step for my clients who 'meet' me in a safe environment and an important first step for me in creating a connection which, ideally, will flourish and grow.
So, periodically, I promote my free 1-question remote reading through various social media sites.
I did just that quite recently.
And the response I received lit up my heart. So many beautiful new souls looking for guidance in their lives, whether it was in relation to love, their career, money, health...
Part of the non-verbal yet transparent agreement that comes with the free reading, is an exchange of energy. In return for their free reading, the client gives their permission to receive my weekly emails. So, for example, in return for offering 20 free readings, 20 new souls receive my weekly email.
Recently when I promoted this offer I did, indeed, receive requests from 20 new souls. I devoted time to deliver all their recorded messages and guidance within a few days of receiving their question and in return received some beautiful feedback from many of them and even some amazingly generous testimonials on my website.
My heart was overflowing with love and joy.
Until... one person, immediately after receiving her recording, chose not to receive any of my emails. For me, it felt like a stab in the heart.
As soon as she had downloaded her reading, she promptly removed herself so she wouldn't receive any further communication with me.
This has happened only once before. On the prior occasion I hadn't been offering angel card readings for an overly long time. So when that person immediately unsubscribed from my emails after downloading her recording, I was filled with doubt. Had I misinterpreted the message from the angels? Had I screwed up the guidance then wanted me to share? Was my intuition not as on-par as I thought it was?
The experience really messed with my confidence for quite some time.
This time, however, having delivered numerous beautiful and, to quote a few clients, "on point" angel messages, doubt in my abilities, gifts or intuition was nowhere to be found.
And yet, I still couldn't let it go that someone had taken so much without giving anything in return.
Suddenly all my focus and energy was directed to this one person. My mind was racing and thinking "should I ask her what happened?", "should I ask why she unsubscribed?", "was she the type of person who abused the generosity of others and should I pull her up for that?"
All the while I was focused on that 1 person, i forgot that there were another 19 lovely souls who appreciated the message and guidance I had passed on to them.
All the while I was focused on that 1 person, I forgot that there were another 19 lovely souls who understood the concept of an energetic exchange to keep everything in balance.
All the while I was focused on that 1 person, forgot there were other lovely souls who had gone above and beyond, and taken the time to reply to me with their feedback and even write testimonials for me.
While I was focused on that 1 person, I was neglecting the other 19. While my mind focused on 1 person, my heart was unable to express true gratitude for the other 19.
Although, I've used a personal and recent example here and, no doubt, could come up with many more examples quickly and easily, I know I'm not alone in the message behind what I've said here. All too often we let our focus turn to the negative whilst ignoring the beauty around us. And all too often that negative is immaterial when compared to the positive experiences where we should turn our focus.
When we turn our focus to the negative we magnify it and blow it all out of proportion, blurring our vision and making us blind to the positivity we should really be grateful for. We would benefit so much more if our focus, our energy, our gratitude were focused on the positive.
So why do we do it?
Quite simply because we believe we are not enough.
When you feel you aren't good enough, aren't pretty enough, aren't smart enough..., you'll always find ways that will highlight your believed inadequacies. Your mind will support you in hunting down the proof that confirms your beliefs are right.
So no matter how good you really are, how pretty you truly are, how smart you genuinely are, that all pales into insignificance and disappears. We turn a blind eye to that, we lose focus on that because it would simply disprove the belief we have created about ourselves that we're not enough.
The only way to stop focusing on the negative is to change our core belief.
And one way to change your core belief is to change the words you say to yourself and the pictures you create in your head.
You see, our mind doesn't know what's true and what's not. It simply believes whatever we tell it and will then go searching for the proof to support whatever words we say and pictures we create.
However, when we're looking to change a core belief like "I'm not enough", something that we've most likely been carrying around since childhood, it's not as simple as choosing to say one day "I am enough" and, poof, the belief is changed. Many of our beliefs have been created from childhood and ar deep-rooted, having travelled with us through life for many years.
So to change a core and deep-rooted takes discipline, awareness and time.
It takes discipline in that ever day, ideally whilst looking directly into your eyes in the mirror, you repeat to yourself "I am enough".
It takes awareness in that you want to tune into the voice in your head (who's goal is simply to keep you safe) and whenever you hear it wavering and suggesting that, perhaps, you're not good enough, you stand firm with conviction and confirm that you are enough.
It takes time because, as I mentioned above, we've been carryhing these beliefs around with us for years and, most probably, decades. You can't change a habit overnight.
However, if you want a life that is fulfilling, if you want a life filled with self-belief, if you want a life that attracts positivity and abundance, then I don't think a little discipline, awareness and time is too demanding or diffcult.