A number of years ago, I was introduced to a short comedy by a couple of dear friends. Watching the comedy is part of their New Year tradition, a tradition they very kindly shared with me.
The comedy is called “Dinner for One” and is about a butler who struggles to help his employer, Miss Sophie, celebrate her 90th birthday.
Miss Sophie’s birthday should be shared with her special drinking friends. However, most of them have since sadly passed on and the butler decides to help Miss Sophie by taking on and playing the roles of her dearly departed friends. It is thoroughly entertaining and I encourage you to watch it (it lasts a short 18 minutes, and only the introduction from the narrator is in German).
This short film, whilst very British, is something that is watched every New Year’s Eve in many German homes as it has been played on German television every year since 1972. So, if you’re British you may never have heard of it. However, if you’re German (like my friends) there’s a good chance you’ve watched it many times, growing up.
This short comedy popped into my head recently when my husband was traveling for a week, for work. Over the last couple of years my husband has been traveling more and more for work, which leaves me home alone with the bunnies.
I love being by myself, doing what I want to do when I want, not having to care about another person. My Mum always said I was a very independent child, especially when I was feeling ill. When I was ill, everyone knew to leave me alone to ‘get on with it’ whereas my sister, in my Mum’s words, needed a whole regiment looking after her.
So, whilst I’m happy to spend time, just me and the bunnies, one thing I have noticed was, every time my husband went away for work, my evening meal consisted of something very basic and simple. I never put too much effort into cooking a meal in the evening when it was just for me.
And yet I love to cook.
It wasn’t something I had thought too much about, until recently. It wasn’t something I had given much meaning to, until recently.
It was only a couple of weeks ago when my husband was away again and I was making myself something simple, something microwaveable, something that took minimum effort and minimum time one evening that I stopped and asked myself, “why?”
Why, when I’m on my own, do I barely cook for myself? And yet when my husband’s at home I have no problem cooking us lovely meals to enjoy. Why do I only ‘deserve’ to eat well when I’m cooking for more than me?
And that really got me thinking about my self-worth and self-care, and the kind of message I’ve been sending out to the Universe over the last 2 weeks.
When it comes to cooking, it seems, subconsciously, I have believed I don’t deserve to enjoy a lovely meal, I’m not worth the effort, I can’t be bothered looking after and caring for myself.
You might be thinking, “but it’s only a meal, Viv, why are you making a big deal out of something that’s nothing?”
Here’s the thing. It is a big deal.
You’ve probably heard the concept of negative self-talk or negative thinking where you have a tendency to put yourself down and berate yourself through the way you speak to yourself or the things you think about yourself. I’m thinking phrases like “I’m stupid”, “I can’t do anything right”, “I don’t like anything about myself”… and so on.
Negative self-talk and negative thinking have been concepts that have been bandied around for some time now. A lot more of us have become aware we’re doing it and consciously trying to change, for the better.
But what about the messages you’re sending out through your actions, especially those actions that you’re doing subconsciously?
Isn’t it just as important to bring them into your awareness and positively address them too?
That’s exactly what I’ve started doing.
The last time my husband was traveling for work, I became aware, at the beginning of that week, how little worth I was showing myself by not cooking myself something tasty, and the message of worthlessness I was sending out to the Universe.
As soon as this came into my awareness and my eyes were opened, I took immediate action. And for the rest of that week, I thoroughly enjoyed creating my dinners for one. It not only showed me and the Universe that I was worthy of good, enjoyable food, that I didn’t need someone else present to increase my worth, it also gave me the perfect opportunity to relish recipes that included my favourite root vegetables, something my husband doesn’t eat.
Looking at your own life, where are you sending out the message that you’re no worthy of something through your subconscious actions? Where are you undermining the importance of you and your self-care through not giving yourself, not permitting yourself something?
Once you realise the negative messages you’re sending out about yourself to the Universe and you take action to change them, slowly your life, in general, will begin to change too. Because when you view yourself as the most important person in your life, when you see yourself as worthy and your actions are in line with this, you start to attract better things into your life because your sense of self-worth increases.
I hope I’ve given you some insight into how you can improve your self-worth and self-care through exploring actions you may be taking subconsciously which are sending out the wrong message to the Universe. But what else do you need to know to better improve your sense of self worth?
Well, that’s the very question I posed to the angels and our team: What do I need to know to better improve my sense of self-worth?
Do you want to know the advice and guidance they shared?